When You Are a Nappy Headed Hoe

Disclaimer:  I am not calling anyone by this obviously derogatory term, I am actually using it in the most sarcastic way that I know.  Sarcasm is my second language, followed by Spanish and French.
Therefore, Internet Trolls, don't start no stuff, won't be no stuff.

Ever been just minding your dadgurned business, only to encounter a soul so contrary that you wanted to ask 'Who sent you?'

I just finished doing a makeup class when a woman entered the store.  I was on my way out and as I passed this individual, she practically 'clotheslined' me so I could stop to talk to her.

Asked me what I do (typical Trini farseness), then she launched into 'What not to Wear'.  Stacy Clinton, Carmindy, blah blah.

Madam La then pulled out her driver's license to show her photo.  She did the makeup and hair herself.  What grade would I give her?  When I declined to do so (this incident happened during Easter holidays, ease meh up nah lady) she sickeningly repeated that I must grade her since my career was in Education.

Turns out she was some type of Image consultant and wanted me to use her services.  She also handed me the card for a hairstylist.  However, she was blabbing so much that she neglected to use the figurative Lomotil to ebb her verbal diarrhoea.

 Madam La stated that since I am taking a makeup course, I also had to get my hair and wardrobe in the same standard to match my face.

Ok then.  So she is judging my wardrobe and hair as needing an upgrade, when I came to the mall to do a class.  Meanwhile, Madam La is bare - faced, clad in tights and in a ponytail but she was quick to explain that it was because she just  came from the gym.

I guess I was under - dressed because I was in a black tie formal event.

Cool, let's see where this goes next.

1.  Madam La said that as my face was made up like this, there was no need to walk around with unkempt hair.

I will insert a pic with my 'unkempt' hair:

2.  Madam La went on to add I could go to the hairdresser she recommended.  She is not saying to relax it or put chemicals.  I could just ...Texturise It.

My response:  the sweetest fku smile I could muster.

If you don't know what a fku smile is, see here:
This photo is not mine.

Then Madame La decided to leave a heartfelt religious card with me, I guess she did her good deed for the day.

What's my issue?  Nothing wrong with offering your services, you know.  I just did not see the need for her to indirectly call my hair unkempt.  However, I aint mad.  It is just amazing how people seem to be bothered by the features of others.  However if I had decided to point out some of her features and add adjectives, I am sure that I might have been called mean, a sinner, or whatever.

'Unkempt hair'?  I wonder what someone else in my shoes would have done.


  1. An unfortunate but ever so common situation. Thank you for sharing

  2. Arghh....you could have done same to her. You respected her too well by giving her your attention. What a time waster she is :(

  3. All I know is that you're a better woman than I. The cheek of some people!!

  4. Ooop no she didn't! I get she's an image consultant but this came off as rude. I'm offended for you! There's nothing wrong with your hair. It's beautiful! I probably would have told her there's more to hair than straight, limp, fine or stringy. Continue to be great WITH your hair queen!

    1. Thanks a lot. I feel sorry for the persons who decide to use her services.


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